The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
by uralicClavichord
Summary: This is my Christmas special for the year. It's like the Christmas Story, but Homestuck style! With Christmas coming up, Rose and Kanaya decide to put on a Christmas pageant with all the others as the cast. Rose is determined to make this an amazing production, even though most of the cast are trolls who don't know anything about Christmas. Can they pull it off?
1. Chapter 1

D- Okay, I know i haven't been updating For Good. But this week i have so much going on with the Mideval dinner and the play and not to mention final e%ams. So I'm going to wait until after finals to continue with that.

But while you wait, here's something i had written out for a while. Here's my Homestuck Christmas Special. This is in an AU where everyone's together and no one is dead and everything is happy and all wonderful. Either that or it's in a dream bubble from a doomed timeline. You decide. Hope you like it.

~Gl'bgolyb

* * *

"Why did you call us all here Rose?" Karkat complained.

"I will explain in a moment," Rose replied, "Is everyone here?"

"Everyone appears to be in attendance," replied Equius.

"Alright! Settle down everyone. Settle down!" Rose voiced. All was quiet. "I bet you're wondering why you're all here. Well, Christmas is coming up, or 12th perigee's eve, and you all want to learn about human culture. I thought it would be nice to organise a Christmas Pageant!" There was a mix excited, and bored faced. "A Christmas pageant is–"

"Um, Rose we know what a pageant is," interrupted Kanaya.

"Oh. Well, less to explain. It's all based off the Christmas story. And we will go by volunteering instead of auditioning due to the time schedule," she informed, "Everyone will be in it. It is required." Everyone except Karkat, Sollux, Terezi, Vriska, and Eridan looked interested.

"This sounds fun!" Feferi exclaimed.

"This sounds stupid. Do we have to do this?" Sollux complained.

"I agree. I don't want to do it. This is fucking dumb!" Karkat huffed. They then heard the revving of a chainsaw. "I mean absolutely dumb that anyone would not want to be in it!" he said nervously. The others nodded.

"First we'll pick the main leading roles. We'll pick a Mary and Joseph. Mary was the mother of Jesus and was a calm, patient, kind woman. Now who wants to volunteer?" Kanaya asked.

"Why aren't YOU volunteering?!" Karkat pointed out, "This sounds like your perfect role!"

"I'm the narrator and the assistant director. I have a part already," said Kanaya, "I am most familiar with human words so it's only fitting that I be the narrator."

"Can't argue with that," replied Karkat.

"Can you list the parts?" Aradia asked.

"Sure! There's Mary and Joseph, the three kings, the angel of The Lord, the Shepards, the inn keeper, and the manger animals," listed Rose, "I will make sure everyone has a role. Now, who would like to be Mary?"

"Psst! Terezi! You should volunteer just for kicks!" Vriska hissed. Terezi snickered and nodded.

"Okay we have Feferi, Nepeta, Aradia...Dave, just no...and Terezi..." she scribbled them down on a whiteboard. "Is that all...okay now for Joseph..."

"I'll be Joseph!" Dave volunteered.

"Me too! Looks like you have yourself some competition Strider," smirked John.

"Karkat, you should volunteer," suggested Kanaya.

"Why?" he spat, "I'll be a tree or something." Kanaya have him a look. He sighed. "Fiiiiine! I'll volunteer for Joseph or whatever."

"Anyone else?" Rose asked. "Okay. Next we have the three kings..."

"Kings?! I'll be a king!" Eridan piped up.

"A king you say? I'll volunteer!" Equius requested.

"Sollux will be a king!" Aradia and Feferi chimed in.

"Wait what?!" Sollux jumped.

"Perfect! Three volunteers!" Rose cheered. Sollux glared at the girls who giggled and smiled back at him.

"Next we have the angel of The Lord, who visits the Shepards in the fields and tells them the good news," said Kanaya.

"You should take this one," whispered Terezi.

"Me an angel?" Vriska snickered, "that'd be hysteeeeeeerical."

"Let's see...Aradia...and Vriska..." reported Rose, "Now, the animals in the manger. This includes a donkey, a cow, a sheep–"

"I'll be the sheep!" Aradia volunteered, "It reminds me of my lusus."

Ross scribbled her name down. "I guess we have our angel of The Lord then." Vriska heard snickers. Eridan shuddered. Vriska smiled.

"So we need a donkey and two doves," said Rose.

"Oh! I want to be a dove! Doves are so pretty!" Jade exclaimed.

"What's a dove?" Eridan asked.

"It's this beautiful white bird," Jade pulled up a picture on her phone.

"Ohh! That's so pretty!" Feferi exclaimed, "I want to be a dove!"

"Me too!" Nepeta chirped, "wait, there can only be two..."

"You can be a Shepard, a donkey, a cow or the inn keeper," said Kanaya.

"What's a donkey?" asked Tavros.

"It's like a horse," explained John. Equius stiffened. The choice to be either a king or a horse was tempting.

"What's a cow?" Sollux asked.

"Like a donkey or a bull. But it produces milk," replied Kanaya.

"Nepeta, be the stallion or the milk producer," commanded Equius.

"I'll be the cow," said Nepeta, "I want to play an animal."

"The shepard sounds bitchtits wicked man," said Gamzee, "Whatever the fuck it is. Wanna be a Shepard with me Tavbro?"

"Um, sure," he replied.

"Well, I guess we have our Mary," said Kanaya. Terezi laughed until she realised she was the only one left up on the board. _SH1T!_

"Um, I don't want to be Joseph anymore," said John, "I'll um...I'll be the ass."

"Ok then," reported Kanaya. That just leaves the inn keeper and the rest will be Shepards."

"I'll be the inn keeper," said Dave, "There will be no assholes allowed in my crib. This is going to be so cool."

"Okay okay. So I guess then we have our cast," said Rose, "Any questions." Karkat stared at Terezi uneasily, who grinned in return. _THIS IS GOING TO FUCKING SUCK._


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Homestuck. Also, sorry the first paragraph was so short. but i hope you like the story so far and i hope you review!

~Gl'bgolyb

* * *

"The inn is back here," said Rose, "And here are the stables..."

"Stables?" Equius asked excitedly.

"What's an inn?" Eridan asked.  
"It's like a hotel," replied Rose, "You have hotels on Alternia, right?" They nodded. "Well they went there to spend the night."

"Who's they? Jegus?" Tavros asked.  
"No. _Jesus_ wasn't born yet. Mary and Joseph went there," corrected Dave.

"Why are we at an inn?" Terezi asked.  
"Mary and Joseph had to pay their taxes," replied Jade.  
"At a motel?" Aradia asked.  
"I'm so confused," said Sollux.

"Rose, can you just begin at the beginning?" Karkat groaned.  
"The beginning?" Rose asked.  
"The beginning of the play! What comes first?" Karkat asked, "We don't know your human Bible and shit."  
"Oh! Right. I seem to forget you're mostly aliens," she replied, "Very well, Kanaya and I will read you the Nativity Story." She then left the stage. John, Dave, and Jade groaned.

"I've heard it so many times before!" John complained.  
"Well maybe you have, but we haven't!" Terezi sneered, "That was so rude John!"  
"Yeah, try to be a bit more culturally sensitive!" Karkat jeered.  
"Wow. Okay, I'm sorry!" John apologised.

"Karkat, I've read you this story before," said Kanaya.  
"You really think I was listening?" Karkat replied. Kanaya sighed.

"I know the story of the Signless," said Feferi, "Is that what this is?"  
"No. Close though," said Kanaya. Rose returned with a book. She flipped open to a page and handed it to Kanaya. Kanaya prepared to read.

"In a time long ago there went a degree from Caesar Augustus that the world should be taxed. And so Joseph went to his home town of Bethlehem with Mary, his wife..."

"What's a wife?" Gamzee asked, "Is that one of those long things you put on your head?"  
"It's like a matesprit," explained Jade.

"He rode to Bethlehem on a donkey with Mary his wife who was great with child..."  
"What does that mean?" Karkat asked.  
"I don't even know," replied Dave.  
"It means she was pregnant," explained Jade.  
"What does THAT mean?" Equius asked. Vriska then whispered something into his ear. "O-Oh..." Equius blushed. Everyone else laughed.

"...And she wrapped the baby Jesus in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them on the inn..."  
"They didn't have room for Jesus?!" Nepeta asked.  
"It was very crowded," explained Kanaya.  
"Fuck that! I'd say it's the middle of fucking winter so either get out or move the fuck over!" Karkat ranted, "They had a fucking baby! They couldn't have just sat on top of the other people?"

"And so they let them have the stables out back," Kanaya ignored him, "So they wrapped him in swaddling clothes and put him in a manger."  
"Waded up clothes?" Feferi questioned.  
"What the motherfuck is a manger?" Gamzee asked.

"Swaddling clothes," corrected Rose, "They wrapped him very tightly in a piece of long cloth because that was all they had. And a manger is a feed box where animals eat hay from."  
"Holy shit! They tied him up and put him in a feed box?! This shit is sick," said Karkat, "What's next? Do they cull him?"

"…and there were shepards," continued Kanaya, "Keeping watch over their flocks by night and the angel of the Lord came to them and said, 'Be not afraid. Unto you a child is born.' And they followed the star to the stables and left their flocks. And there were wise men from the east bringing gifts like gold and frankincense and myrrh..."

"What the fuck is myrrh?" Eridan asked.  
"...Frankincense?" Sollux wondered.  
"They were things like spices and precious oils," continued Rose.  
"Oil? What kind of present is oil?" Eridan scoffed.  
"Dibs on gold," Sollux muttered.

"Here's an idea! Why don't the kings go to the innkeeper and tell him to fuck off!" Karkat said looking at Dave, "Or at least bribe him or something."  
"I do accept bribes," mentioned Dave, "But not from dudes who want to kill Jesus. Jesus is my man."

"Wait, we get to kill a baby?" Eridan chimed, "I guess this isn't so boring after all."  
"No. The wise men were sent by Harod, the main king. He was threatened by Jesus and wanted to have him put to death. So he sent the kings to visit Jesus so they could report back the location to Herod so he could kill him," explained Rose.

"THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HIM?!" cried out Nepeta.  
"My God! He just got born! They're going to kill a baby?!" Terezi gasped.  
"Not on my fucking watch," growled Karkat.  
"No. The wise men were warned in a dream not to return to Harod so Jesus lived," assured Rose. Many sighed.

"Oh! What if they went back and killed Harod instead? That'd be fun!" said Vriska.  
"Who's Herod in this play?" Feferi asked.  
"There isn't one," said Kanaya.  
"He's out to kill a baby and he isn't even in the play?" Eridan questioned  
"I think we should have a Herod," Nepeta noted.  
"Oh! Let's have Taaaaaaaavros be Harod!" Vriska said. Tavros looked nervous. "He says go get me that baby! And-"  
"I-I don't want to be Harod," stammered Tavros.

"No one is going to be Harod! Forget about Harod!" Rose yelled. Everyone looked at Rose. Rose sighed. "Kanaya, please just continue."  
"That's basically the show," said Kanaya, "Any questions?" Equius raised his hand.

"I was in the bathroom. Can you repeat it?" Everyone groaned. Kanaya started again. This time trolls then began to imagine in their heads the story, or rather their version of how it went.


	3. Chapter 3

This part is basically the Christmas Story with the homestuck characters added. I thought this would be fun. Enjoy.

~Gl'bgolyb

* * *

"Joseph i have to pee!" Terezi whined.

"We've stopped like ten fucking times!" Karkat complained, "At least you didn't have to walk for like a hundred fucking miles!"

"Ahem! Try doing it with a pregnant lady on your back!" John snapped.  
"Um, you're an ass! You're not supposed to talk!" Karkat scolded. The donkey rolled its eyes.

"Are we there yet?" Terezi moaned.  
"Actually we are," replied Karkat, "We're finally at Bethlehem."  
"Finally! Jegus Joseph, why did you have to be born so far away?" Terezi complained.

"Look! I will turn this fucking donkey around and we can go all the way back to Nazareth," said Karkat.  
"I will fucking kick your ass if you do," snapped John, "No pun intended."  
"What do you think you are, a smart ass?"  
"...um yes?" John replied.  
"Listen you little shit..."

"Joseph!"  
"What?!" Karkat snapped.  
"It's coming," panicked Terezi.  
"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Karkat worried, "Okay okay...look there's an inn! We can crash there!"  
"Oh I hope this place has a pool," said Terezi. Karkat knocked on the door. The door was shortly answered by a guy in sweet shades.

"Sup," he said.  
"Listen, we need a place to crash and-"  
"Sorry bro, were booked," he interrupted, "There's no room."  
"Are you fucking serious?"  
"Dead serious." Dave replied.  
"Dude, what do you expect me to do? Go all the way back to Nazareth?" Karkat scoffed.  
"Read the sign," said Dave pointing above. Karkat looked up.

"No assholes allowed," he read, "IM the asshole? YOU are being the asshole! My wife is having a fucking baby who is going to save you from your fucking sin and–"  
"Yeah yeah yeah. I've heard it all before," said Dave.

"Ugh! Joseph what is taking so long?" Terezi complained.  
"This fucking asshole won't let us in," replied Karkat.  
"Wait, you actually have a wife?" said the inn keeper.  
"Yeah I'm his wife, unfortunately, and you better let us in!" Terezi growled.

"I'm serious guys, I'm like jamming people into this motherfucker. There is no fucking room!" Dave admitted, "I am literally stepping over bodies like they're corpses littering the halls. I am fucking stuffed like a turkey on Thanksgiving. There is not an atom of room."  
"See Joseph? This is why you make reservations! I wanted to go down last week but noooo," complained Terezi, "My husband fucking sucks." The inn keeper laughed.

"You seem awesome. I'll let you have the stable. It's inhabited by animals, but there's no other people and it's better than nothing. You can even store your donkey there," said Dave, "It's on me. No money needed."  
"As if we're staying in that shitho-"  
"We'll take it," Terezi interrupted.

"I suggest you get to the stable quickly," he replied pointing to the barn. Karkat grabbed the donkey and lead it into the barn. They looked around and saw all the animals. The cat crawled next to Joseph and began purring. There were plenty or sheep, however, most were robots. The one living sheep appeared to be staring at them, smiling creepily. The two doves cooed a beautiful sound. The two supposed mates flew to the rafters and seemed to chat about the new comers.  
"It smells like shit in here," said Karkat. John the ass munched on some hay because what else would an ass do?

Meanwhile In The Desert...

"We're kings. Why the fuck are we takin orders from another king?" Eridan questioned.  
"Because he is higher than us. And it is right," responded Equius.

"And I don't know about this killing a wriggler thing. I mean, I don't think I can bring myself two do it," admitted Sollux.  
"I'd take care of the fucker myself, but Har's got an army for that," said Eridan.

"Where are we even going?"Sollux asked, "We've been traveling for hours."  
"Didn't we pass that cactus a half an hour ago?" Eridan asked.  
"Is it the cactus with the dead serpent on it?" Equius asked.  
"Yes. Ugh! We've been goin in circles!" Eridan yelled.  
"Finding this boy is a challenge," said Equius.

"Well what did you expect?! Some star or a sign was going two appear out of nowhere and lead us directly to Jesus?" All of the sudden, a bright star appeared in the sky, shining great light across the atmosphere. "Holy shit..."

Meanwhile On A Hill Somewhere...

"Tavbro?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Do you ever wonder about the gods?" Gamzee asked. He flopped on his back and let the sheep surround him.  
"Um, I really don't want to get into a religious debate," said Tavros standing guard, "But I do sometimes think about God."  
"Someday Tavbro, The Lord will come, I just know it," he said, "Maybe it'll be today."

"Maybe," humoured Tavros. Did this guy really think a sign that said "The Lord is Here" was just going to randomly appear tonight? Suddenly, a bright star appeared in the sky. _Holy shit_, he thought. Suddenly, an angel appeared to them. The two saw the angel and were afraid. And they had reason to be.

"Unto you a child is born," said Vriska. The two were confused and terrified. Vriska rolled her eyes. "Be not afraid. For–Oh fuck it. You two are a couple of pansies! The greatest boy in the universe was just born! Go see him! What are you waiting for?!" They looked at the sheep. "Ugh! Fuck the sheep! Forget about the sheep! Just go!" The two shrugged and followed the star.

Meanwhile…

Terezi and Karkat and all the other animals watched over the newborn baby in the manger. They then heard someone enter the stables. Two shepherds had come from afar.

"What the motherfuck is up my brothers?" said one, "We've come to see the wicked motherfuckin messiah."  
"Fuck it's shepards," hissed Karkat, "Why the fuck are they here?"  
"They are here to see Jesus and in case you haven't noticed there's a huge fucking star above us literally saying 'Jesus is right here'" whispered Terezi, "Who were you expecting, Kings?" Just then they heard camels outside. John the smart ass poked his head outside.

"Holy shit…" he gasped.  
"What?" Terezi asked.  
"You guys aren't going to believe this," he said. Into the stables, Kings arrived with gifts. A sheep rushed to the first king and a dove landed on his shoulder. The second king was confronted shortly by the purring cow. And all the other animals were afraid of the third king.

"Oh my baby its three rich assholes," said Karkat.  
"Yes. We have come to visit the tiny king," replied Equius ignoring the insult.  
"And we bring gifts from our homeland," stated Eridan. The three crowded around the manger to see the baby. Sollux presented his gift first.

"I give you…Super Smash Trolls 5. Along with the game console," he presented, "Have fun being the first to play the best game ever." Equius was next.

"I give you the gift…of fine art," he said presenting a beautiful sculpted horse penis which was soon taken away by Terezi. "I also bring you the gift of STRENGTH. So I present thee with musclebeast milk." He laid the gifts by the manger. Finally, it was Eridan's turn.

"I give you my most prized possession. I give you Ahab's Crosshairs," he said presenting the legendary piece of shit, "Use it well young one. It is a very valuable weapon."

* * *

Eventually they all went their separate ways and the three were alone together again.

"Joseph, now that we have this baby, we can't fuck this up, got it?" Terezi said.  
"Mary, it's us! Of course we're going to fuck it up!" Karkat replied.  
"Yeah, you're right," replied Terezi, "But we can just hope for the best and wing it, right?" Karkat smiled a bit. 

"Yep. That's what we always do. And it works, right?" The two smiled and watched over the young child, and pleasured in the calmness of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Yeah yeah yeah i know it's past Christmas but i have to finish this story. Then on Saturday, I think i'll update For Good. I hope you like it and remember to review. Even if this story is like ten years old, review on it! **

**~Gl'bgolyb**

* * *

It was the night of the pageant and everyone was all dressed in their costumes and all ready to perform.

Vriska was all dressed in white and had a sparkly gold halo on a wire with glittery feathery wings. And it scared the absolute shit out of Eridan. Kanaya was dressed similarly but her wings and silver halo were less bent and were kept in pristine condition. She also added a few amendments to the plain white garment. The pure white garment now had a few more layers of while on the diagonal cut skirt and had other details in white lace for the top. Rose wasn't too happy but was relieved that Kanaya stayed within the color scheme. It still terrified Eridan.

But Eridan also added his own touch to his costume. He brought in his own cape and added his symbol and other jewels to his crown. Eridan's outfit was a sight to see. Equius and Sollux customized theirs a bit too. Rose thought it was perfect.

Other changes took place though that Rose wasn't too happy about. Nepeta had cow changed to cat. Gamzee refused to take his face paint off and Dave refused to remove his shades. Besides that, mostly everyone looked awesome.

The barn animals looked like something out of a kids show, but that was what it was supposed to be anyways. Aradia and the Aradiabots were covered in cotton. Jade and Feferi were all full of feathers. Nepeta was having just the best day ever. John however, was about the opposite.

"Is everyone here?" Rose called. Everyone turned to attention. "Okay. I want you to go have fun tonight. Don't listen to the guy in the front row. I know we have a fantastic show! Break a leg everyone!"

"Break a leg? Sweet!" Karkat said, "Finally something fun."  
"Can I break Sol's leg instead of mine?" Eridan asked. Sollux glared at him.  
"It's just a theatrical term. Since it's bad luck to say good luck," explained Rose. There were a few groans of disappointment. "Okay. Let's go have fun! Places in 5!"

* * *

"When is it going to start?" Mituna complained.

"MOG this is so exciting! I ship Mary and Joseph so hard," squealed Meulin.  
"The characters or the actors?" Meenah asked.  
"BOTH!"  
"I thought they were already cannon," Meenah added.

"This is so exciting!" Cronus said, "I finally get to learn about Christmas. And celebrate the holiday I was always meant to." He had studied the program with the definitions of the human words to a T.  
"Mind you not everyone one on earth celebrates Christmas," Kankri began, "Many people aren't Christians and celebrate holidays like Hanukah. Then again there are non Christians that do appropriate the Christain culture and celebrate it anyways and–"  
"Oh come on Kankles!" Latula interrupted, "You have to be somewhat proud of your dancestor."

"Oh I am," he replied, "I admit it will be amusing seeing our dancestors on stage together. As the human equivalents of a strong matespritship, acting out the roles of lusii to a child destined to save the world. Actually I kind of wouldn't mind this being an annual thing, actually. Maybe next time you and I can perform together. I know the role of Joseph suits me well and after all it is only acting. Not that I want it to be real. You are a dear friend of mine in an already strong matespritship with someone. Though this concept is rather triggering and offensive to some, I suppose I could list a bunch of trigger warnings before the show." Latula had already tuned him out. Kurloz looked at Meulin enviously because she had the privilege of not hearing this.

"I can't wait to see the beautiful earth animals. Right haybale?" Horrus asked Rufioh.  
"Uh, yeah sure," he replied, "Hey bro. Remind me after the show I really need to talk to you." He then gave Damara with an uneasy look. She smirked at him.  
"このくだらない遊びが終わった後、我々は三人組を持っている必要があります," Damara remarked.

"...and that is what the story behind this pageant was," Aranea finished. Porrim had a glum look on her face and was not happy that she was the chosen victim of one of Aranea's stories. Suddenly, lights began to turn dark.  
"Oh would you look at that it's staring," Porrim cut Aranea off.

The curtain opened. The music started to play and the singing from off stage began. O Come All Ye Faithful sounded a lot better than expected. Kanaya with her glittery angel wings and halo stepped out from the side and up to the podium.

"A long time ago there went out a decree from the ruler of the Roman Empire, Caesar Augustus. He wanted to tax everyone in the land to raise money for himself and the Romans. So he ordered that everyone man return to their birth city. And so Joseph took Mary, his wife who was great with child to Bethlehem, his home town," narrated Kanaya.

Music then played again as Terezi, Karkat, and John entered. Terezi was on John's back and he was giving her a ride on his hands and knees. From the audience, you couldn't really tell that he was struggling and cursing under his breath.

After O Little Town Of Bethlehem was over, Dave stepped out from his fake hotel door. For some reason, there was smoke and flashing lights on the inside of the door. Rose sighed.

"But when they arrived, the city was already very crowded with other people who had come back to be registered, and all of the inns were full. But Joseph sought shelter at several inns anyway, in the hope that someone might spare a room for Mary," continued Kanaya.

Karkat went up to Dave.

"We have traveled a long way and my wife is very tired. Is there any room at your inn?" Karkat recited.  
"There is no room but you can have my stable out back," said Dave.  
"We thank you very much for your kindness, sir," Karkat recited through gritted teeth.  
Away in a Manger then began to play and everyone began to sing. After the song and the set change Kanaya began to speak again.

"The stable was for animals – for the donkeys, cows, sheep…and cats that people had brought with them. But Mary and Joseph were grateful for any shelter they could get that night. And so the friendly beasts of the stables kindly welcomed them," she read. Friendly Beasts began to play and everyone sang the first verse. Karkat and Terezi hated what came next. John's solo. John wasn't exactly the best singer in the world.

""I," said the donkey, shaggy and brown," John began to sing off key. At least it lasted less than thirty seconds before Nepeta's solo.

""I carried His mother up hill and down;  
I carried her safely to Bethlehem town."  
"I," said the donkey, shaggy and brown."

""I," said the cat, all white and red  
"I gave Him my manger for a bed;  
I gave Him my hay to pillow His head."  
"I," said the cat, all white and red," Nepeta sang. Since cow had been modified to cat, her verse made little sense. But it was still very adorable. Next, Aradia began to sing her solo.

""I," said the sheep with curly horn,  
"I gave Him my wool for His blanket warm;  
He wore my coat on Christmas morn."  
"I," said the sheep with curly horn," her voice rang through the theatre. Karkat didn't mind because Aradia actually knew how to sing. Then came the duet with Feferi and Jade.

""I," said the dove from the rafters high,  
"Cooed Him to sleep that He should not cry;  
We cooed Him to sleep, my mate and I."  
"I," said the dove from the rafters high," the two slightly harmonized. It actually sounded really pretty. The two seemed to be enjoying themselves. They then all sang the ending together and ending it. Aradia acknowledged John's tone deafness and sang out to cover him. It mostly worked.

The spotlight went off of the manger and to Tavros, Gamzee, and the spare Aradiabots they used as sheep. The light up star was plugged in and shined brightly. Tavros was frozen in his spot due to stagefright. Gamzee was just staring off into space.

"That same night there were shepherds watching their flocks of sheep on the steep hills surrounding Bethlehem. The shepherds were poor men who wore rough, simple clothing. For them, nights were usually dark, cold and lonely. And lo and behold, they were sore afraid when an angel of the Lord appeared to them…" Kanaya waited for Vriska to appear, but there was no sign of her. Kanaya cleared her throat. "When an **Angel of the Lord** appeared to them!" Vriska then ran out and skidded to a halt in front of the shepards.

"Hey! Onto you a child is born!" she said. Neither of the two moved. "His name is Jesus he's in the barn go see him!" She then took Gamzee and whipped him in the direction of the manger. Tavros was still frozen. "What are you waiting for? Go see him!" She then shoved him towards the stables, now with the lights up. Angels We Have Heard On High began to play. After the first verse, Vriska went to center stage.

"Shepards, why this jubilee…" Vriska sang her solo. She wasn't that bad actually. And she didn't botch the lyrics like she normally did. After that, Kanaya began to read again.

"Journeying from afar were the three wise men who brought gifts of gold, frankensence and myrrh," she read. We Three Kings began and Sollux, Equius, and Eridan began towards the stables.

The three began their solos. Sollux's lisp would have made his solo pretty awkward, but luckily his verse didn't have many 's's in it. In fact there was only one word with an 's'. Sollux looked like he would rather be anywhere else but where he was now.

"Born a King on Bethlehem's plain  
Gold I bring to crown Him again  
King forever, ceasing never  
Over us all to reign," he sang with little effort. Karkat snickered at "th'ea'thing". As Sollux set the gift down at the manger, gave Karkat the middle finger.

"Frankincense to offer have I  
Incense owns a Deity nigh  
Prayer and praising, all men raising  
Worship Him, God most high," sang Equius. His voice was very hoarse and scratchy. It wasn't very pleasant and was hard to hear. Next was Eridan. Eridan loved his verse.

"Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume  
Breathes of life of gathering gloom  
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying  
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb," he belted out. Eridan had a strong voice. He emphasized the "Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying" part especially because that was the only joy he got out of that verse.

After We Three Kings, Kanaya stepped up to the podium to say her next narration.

"Being warned in a dream not to return to Herod, the wise men parted their separate ways. The shepards parted too, giving thanks to all they had seen. And Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart." Silent Night began to play and all the cast made their way on to the stage. Then everyone began to sing. Kanaya motioned the audience to sing as well. It took a while but everyone followed the lyrics in the program and eventually caught on, since Aranea had taught them the tune. The theatre was soon filled with voices singing a calm, beautiful tune. Terezi took the moment to nudge Karkat so she could talk to him.

"Pssst! Hey! Your voice isn't that bad!" she hissed.  
"Yours could be worse," he whispered.  
"You have to admit, this was kind of fun," she said. He smiled.  
"Yeah…It was," admitted Karkat, "It was fun being your human wife or whatever." Terezi giggled. "What?"  
"Nothing…" she laughed. He sighed.

"Oh boy will Kankri have a lecture for us," he grumbled.  
"I don't know Karkat, I think he's smiling," she said. Karkat looked at Kankri. Sure enough, he had a big old smile on his face and red tears pricking at his eyes. He was singing along loud and proud to the song.  
"I am in utter awe," gasped Karkat. Terezi chuckled taking hold of Karkat's hand. The two looked up at the big light up star above them.

"Merry Christmas," Terezi whispered as the song came to a close. From the back something began to push people aside. Out jumped Nepeta at the very front of center stage. She then exclaimed to everyone,

"God bless us, everynyan!"

The End


End file.
